Shakespearean Insult Kit

Tongue fail thee? Even as the world spirals inward, there will be increasing hordes of gorbellied flap-mouthed rump-fed barnacle-breathed pignutted puttocks impinging on your every day. WELL, cudgel thy brains no more about it! Here is the answer.
Clickest Thou Urgently Yon Button!

No yeasty-nethered knotty-pated clot-poles will ever again take your advantage in verbal jousting. Once more, unto the breach, my friends. Stem the tide of mammering motley-minded dewberries.
Be gone.