standup up dog in the water sleeping

2024-02-09

I was trying to figure out what to wear to a fancy party. I put on a shirt and tie, and then pulled on these hella high waisted pants. They cinched up around my underarms almost like overalls but with no straps. I didn’t like they way they looked, so I ditched the whole outfit and just put on some shorts and a t-shirt.

So we jumped into the car and headed to the park but the navigation routed us through this tiny alley. I recognized the alley almost right away as a recurring landscape that I often ride my bike through. We had to get out of the car once the alley became too narrow for it.

We went through a couple of rickety old gates and then the narrow alley bent hard to the right and finally ended where I expected it to: right at the large back yard of a modest sized house. For some reason, this is totally a normal part of this bike/pedestrian route. You’re supposed to open the gate and let yourself in (be sure to close it behind you!), cross the yard, and respectfully let yourself through the house (sometimes through the garage, sometimes through the house itself, from the mudroom to the front door) and out to the front of the house where you can resume your journey on the main road.

I’ve done it dozens of times so I led my party through. In the backyard, there was a big salt-and-pepper dog sleeping in a rickety old dog house. I was a little nervous it might bark or be aggressive, but it was just sleepy. In the backyard there was a large pool. That’s new! There was a large red, short-haired, meaty-jowled, squinty-eyed dog in the pool, standing upright on its hind legs in the water, fast asleep. Its face kept dipping into the water and it would blow bubbles as it snoozed. Be careful, dog! Don’t drown!

Finally crossing the yard, I passed the large house windows and saw the homeowner inside sitting at their kitchen counter having some coffee. I gave them a wave. They’re used to people cutting through their backyard.

I was just about to let myself into their garage—had my hand on the doorknob and had half turned it—when I noticed there is now a new path of paving stones going from the pool around the side of the house. They must have added this when they added the pool! So I went around the pool, the red dog snorting and gurgling in the water (should I try to pull the dog out of the water?), and went through the fence gate on the side of the house instead of through the garage.

Finally got to the edge of the park. I needed to drop some stuff off at the post office, so I had my crew drop me off and then walked into the park. I could see the post office down the hill, so I started walking down there. But when I got there, it wasn’t a real post office at all, but instead was a tiny strip mall of souvenir shops with a fake facade made to look like a small downtown business district. There was the fake post office, and the fake bank. But really they just sell magnets, and keychains, and other trinkets, and tacos.

So I realized I didn’t know where I actually was. And I still needed to get to the post office, and to the fancy party and find my friends.